If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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