as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
