The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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