When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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