I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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