While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
being pregnant is like rehab
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
