Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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