Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
