When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
