airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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