Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
