I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You smell like stripper and shame
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
