A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
home. puking in laundry basket.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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