He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
