I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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