still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
