: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
