Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just had sex on a roof
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
