Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You can't motorboat a personality
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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