is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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