I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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