am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
