Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
