Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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