he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
two words: eviction party
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
