You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
