she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
