Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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