We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
