Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
