3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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