Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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