you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I am naked and annoyed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
