I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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