the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
