Plan B is the new Plan A
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
