Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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