All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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