I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
