first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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