Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
