it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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