No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
