We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
