He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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