dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
