bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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