i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
