new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
