Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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