At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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